We were only sitting near one another as complete strangers,
nothing less and nothing more.
However, you caught my attention-
you became aware of my eyes watching you.
A strand of hair gently brushed against my cheek
as the autumn wind grew more powerful.
Was it your hand that removed my hair?
Was it your rough, but also soft finger tips that
smoothed away the hair from my timid face?
It was such a sensational moment when your dark eyes
met mine that I would hardly speak, let alone breathe.
As the wind made its way between us,
I chose to rose from my park bench-
it was then I knew, the crisp, cool breeze led me to you.
It would be perfectly fine for you to say what came across your mind.
I was smitten by someone who was more than a simpleton,
only at the moment- I wasn’t aware of his true nature.
True, I wasn’t fully lucid when I knew I was
in the presence of such a beautiful rouse.
His features so elegant and strong rest assured-
I knew for moments I was completely safe- I adored such a feeling.
Caught still in a time of relentless bliss- is this what it honestly felt like?
The trouble became clearer to me now, I was a temporary stop for him,
a chance or him to gather information and desert me for what better suited his tastes,
his needs, his desires.
A mad man in disguise of what I believed to be a charming gentleman.
It pains me that we ended on bitter terms that took place during a winter storm-
the snowflakes that you once described as beautiful and unequaled like me brought
me to an unfortunate dark reality- they’re so many snowflakes distinct from one
another- so many that carry a particular desirability among them…
it only gives you so many to choose from.
And so I walked through feet of cold, frozen rain to find my way home.
Would I recognize it? Where was it? If my home wasn’t meant to be by your side,
then where was it I belonged?
Not only were you a mad man, but also a mind reader- an instigator.
You knew my faults; you knew my sorrows- you knew what tactics to use
in the field of battle to corrupt my mind- which you successfully did.
We went from being humans that were more than colorful; we were more than two
personas at war attempting to bring the other pain… we became humans who dressed
for funerals and it led to one to be detached from society.
But alas as the seasons changed,
you then disappeared. Did I miss you? Did I stop to nice? Did I care?
One thought came to mind: Air.
At last I can breathe without the feeling of your rough hands
obliterating my lungs to a state of unawareness.
Like a bird that had little space to fly, I was trapped in a cage with little.
Not given the opportunity to roam the world and soar.
You were beautifully and alluringly awful, but you were a lesson.
You were my own certain kind of destructive poison.
Here we are… out from our tragic experiences- sitting on a park bench.
Watching the sun set and rise, this is what freedom feels like.
This is what being away from your clutches feels like.
Good bye dear friend, dear ghost, dear past.
You were a love so splendid, but so out of reach.
written on August 29th 2009